Exquisite…part 4

  The details of Exquisite’s painful experience at
the hands of her guy, isn’t important. This isn’t
an action movie, or an accident where gawkers
will have a chance to get off on watching
someone else’s suffering. What is important, is
what that painful experience cost Exquisite.
  Exquisite is now forever scarred. But as she
has been used to doing, once she got her feet
on the ground again, she was off and running,
but this time, not to explore. Exqusite’s run
was filled with defiance, pain, and false
bravado. Though Exquisite has a strength
inside of her, this isn’t what she chose to use
to face her problems. When she was forced
to use this inner strength, this fighting spirit,
it almost always came with guilty feelings.
As if causing others pain made her evil.
This skewered view would continually
cause conflicts in Exquisite.
  Exquisite has never seen herself as a
survivor of a tragedy. In her mind, people
have gone through worse. For informations
sake, survivors are more likely to go through
guilty emotions, they are more likely to go
through depression, more likely to develop
phobia’s, and more likely to self-abuse or
experience addictions. So there’s a need for
Exquisite to realize the gravity of her
experience and how it’s stayed with her.
  Now when Exquisite danced, it was as if to
say, ‘look at me, not because I’m a rare
species, but because I’m free’. ‘Look at me,
I’m just fine without you’ Whether it was
play or work, Exquisite was ‘dancing’ as
fast as she could, more like eating life up
rather than feeling life. With feelings came
pain, Exquisite was having none of that
to be continued… 
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