Part II of Personalities

‘Barbie’ is the perfect girl, she has everything she needs in life, 
money, a great body with perfect proportions, even her job is 
perfect. ‘Barbie’ girls are so perfect, it’s hard to find dates, 
because all the guys she meets think she’s taken already. So 
‘Barbie’s’ end up with whatever is left on the table.
See ‘Barbie’s, deep down inside, want the perfect family life, 
a husband, 2.4 kids, a van, a house in the suburbs, and a 
mortgage. But, her perfection limits the doors that is usually 
wide opened for girls with more obvious flaws. 
Let’s take a look at what’s left on the table. Scraps, 
overturned wine glasses, empty beer bottles, paper 
napkins. Scraps is like leftovers, that means the guy has 
a past relationship that isn’t in his past. He’s either 
married or just divorced to a woman that needs her 
light bulbs changed once a week. 
Overturned wine glasses and beer bottles, means 
a guy with issues , habits he can’t break, like 
alcoholism or a drug addiction. 
Paper napkins are recycable, which can be 
interpreted to mean that she will pick up one 
drunk for another or one broken down guy
for another one.
‘Barbies’ usually marry the same man, over and 
over, well I should say, the same type of man 
over and over. The men in her life will likely be 
weak and need constant reassurances from her,
because ‘Barbie is so perfect, it creates one 
more thing for the guy to feel sorry for himself 
about. ‘She’s too good for me, let me take 
another drink.’
Sometimes, ‘Barbie’ does manage to find her ‘Ken’, 
but she will always manage mess that relationship up, in 
some kind of way, because he’s just too perfect. 
Barbie’s are also fixers, they think that they can
change or fix the guy, if he’s already perfect, Barbie’s
question their choice as if it’s can’t be true. 
Remember this, the only perfect man is a gay man.
Hey, that’s from Barbie, not me.  
The ‘used and abused’ girl is a tale of woe. This 
type of girl has such a low opinion of herself, 
that she will take anything and call it love. A 
fist in the face, screams ‘I LOVE YOU BABY!’ .  
Words of contempt thrown at this type of girl 
must mean he’s paying her some attention. This type 
of girl will even chase after a guy after he hits her, 
with blood streaming from her nose she will beg 
for him to stay, please give her another chance to 
cook his dinner better, to iron his clothes better, 
to be quieter, to not make him mad anymore, if 
only he’ll stay.
This type of girl usually ends up with the relationship 
that lasts ’till death do us part.’ Some parts of us, the 
humankind part, wants to be concerned, we want to pull for 
the underdog, we want to cry for the dead, but then 
when we hear that these type of women always go 
back to be ‘used and abused’ once again, we end up 
shaking our heads in disgust instead.
The ‘repeater’ is a type of girl that tells herself, 
she wouldn’t date a guy that treats her friend the 
way her friend’s boyfriend does. She doesn’t want 
to marry a guy that did what her dad did to her mom, 
she would never be the other woman like the girl on
 Dr. Phil. The ‘repeater’ has all of these examples of 
what she doesn’t want, but the guys she end up with 
are exactly the guys we have heard her say over and 
over again, she would never be with.
The ‘repeater’ wants to believe she is different then 
the Barbie’s, but she repeats Barbie’s mistakes, she 
laughs at the ‘Juliets’ and yet she repeats Juliet’s giggle 
and blushes when a poetic, soft and romantic guy 
approaches. In other words, she repeats ‘Juliet’s’
 responses to fluff.  The ‘repeater’ is so good at 
repeating other’s mistakes, she more than likely 
will do the ultimate in repeats, she will marry a guy 
that has every fault that she hated in her dad.
The ‘repeater’ carries with them an illusion of 
themselves that causes them to think that the 
outcome will be different because she isn’t 
those othe types. Some of her thoughts may go 
this way: ‘I know he cheated on his last girlfriend 
a lot but he had to, she wouldn’t give him sex ‘ , 
‘ when he read poetry to me it made me feel like 
a princess, especially when he looked deep into 
my eyes’ , ‘ I’ve seen him do drugs but he’s never 
done them around me, he respects me too much’.
A ‘repeater’ never listens to her inner voice, she 
hears it, she can repeat what it says, but she never 
follows it, which is why a ‘repeater’ is doomed to 
fail. And, it’s why she will always end up at some 
point and time, mimicking those other types.
The ‘lady’ is easy, she’s the type that knows herself. 
I know what you were thinking, you were thinking 
lady as in elegance and style. This isn’t a dictionary, 
it’s not what defines a lady, it’s what defines a type.
The ‘lady’ type of girl is truly a woman in her own 
clothes. She is not stamped by outside forces, she 
is truly a mold unto herself. A ‘lady’ doesn’t need a 
man to go to a fancy dinner, she is just as comfortable 
eating alone and being unaccompanied as she is when 
there is a man. She doesn’t see the passing of time as 
a scary thing, she embraces it and all life has in store 
for her, with ever rising glee. Tell a ‘lady’ she has six 
months to live and she’ll plan a going away party, 
while inspiring others to do all they can to find a cure 
for those that are destined to have the same disease.
The ‘lady’ type doesn’t settle. Have you heard the 
saying, ‘I can do bad all by myself’ ? This is the creed a 
‘lady’ lives by. She doesn’t ask, ‘why me’, she asks, ‘why 
not me’ .  Don’t get the idea that the ‘lady’ never cries or 
feel pain in her heart, she does, she just doesn’t become 
enslaved to things like sadness, heartbreak, money, sex, 
nor even love.
I use the term lady because, truthfully, she can not be 
tied to a type, she’s not a race of woman, she’s not a 
class of woman, she’s not a woman attached to a 
number or age, she is just a lady.
I knew this lady once upon a time, she was born in 
a time that black people had no voice, but especially 
black women, they had no voice and no face. Black 
women were only required to say, ‘yes sir and yes ma’am’ . 
This lady was a tough nut, she learned toughness from 
having to fight off all the men in her family. Back in the 
day, incest was a big issue, men of the family would rape 
their sisters and their girl cousins. Instead of beating 
down this lady, it made her a fighter, she figured out ways 
to fight men bigger than she was, even if it meant a fight 
to the death. Men learned not to bother with her, to be 
honest, they were scared for their lives, to them, better to 
have sex with a pig then to fight this girl. She wasn’t allowed 
to go to school, so she would sit outside the little 
schoolhouses and look through the windows in order to 
learn to read, she wanted to be able to read her Bible.
When she got married, she had about 10 or 12 kids, 
some were lost at birth so I’m not too sure of the exact 
number, but it was a lot of mouths to feed. Her husband 
was a player and a gambler, so the money rarely made 
it home. This lady knew her children was not going to 
go hungry just because a man didn’t want to live up 
to his fatherly responsibilities, so she would hunt him 
down every pay day. This man, the husband of this lady, 
was a huge man, he was verbally abusive to her and 
often acted like a big bully. But, when it came to her 
kids, she was like a big grizzly mama bear, she would 
jack this big hunk of a man up off of his feet and shake 
the money out of him. Then she would tell him where 
he could go and he could get there broke.
This lady withstood prejudice and everyday threats 
of her sons being hanged for no other reason but that 
they spoke to a little white girl. She stood up to an entire 
town with a shotgun to prevent a hanging of her children. 
She went on to tell her husband that if he could find a place 
to be all night he needed to stay there, then took his clothes 
to the woman he was sleeping with, house, and told her 
there was the dirty drawers that went with the dirty man. 
She ended up raising her kids on her own but she still 
went after that money every payday.
This lady could have been ‘used and abused’, she found 
a way not to be that type, she could have been ‘a repeater’ , 
she only needed 2 lessons to learn, that it’s better to be 
alone then to continue repeating ones mistakes. She could 
have easily fit any number of those types at some point 
in her long life, but she rose above it.
When she was given six months to live, she stretched 
it to about 10 years and she was such a great lady, 
many came for her funereal, some had been a part of 
that white mob that wanted to hang her children, they 
had come to pay their respects and love for such an 
outrageous lady.
I consider her the greatest lady I’ve ever known, my 
grandma, may she rest in peace.
Now for my favorite part, I get to drag men into the dirt. woohoo next!!

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