‘Barbie’ is the perfect girl, she has everything she needs in life,
money, a great body with perfect proportions, even her job is
perfect. ‘Barbie’ girls are so perfect, it’s hard to find dates,
because all the guys she meets think she’s taken already. So
‘Barbie’s’ end up with whatever is left on the table.
See ‘Barbie’s, deep down inside, want the perfect family life,
a husband, 2.4 kids, a van, a house in the suburbs, and a
mortgage. But, her perfection limits the doors that is usually
wide opened for girls with more obvious flaws.
Let’s take a look at what’s left on the table. Scraps,
overturned wine glasses, empty beer bottles, paper
napkins. Scraps is like leftovers, that means the guy has
a past relationship that isn’t in his past. He’s either
married or just divorced to a woman that needs her
light bulbs changed once a week.
Overturned wine glasses and beer bottles, means
a guy with issues , habits he can’t break, like
alcoholism or a drug addiction.
Paper napkins are recycable, which can be
interpreted to mean that she will pick up one
drunk for another or one broken down guy
for another one.
‘Barbies’ usually marry the same man, over and
over, well I should say, the same type of man
over and over. The men in her life will likely be
weak and need constant reassurances from her,
because ‘Barbie is so perfect, it creates one
more thing for the guy to feel sorry for himself
about. ‘She’s too good for me, let me take
Sometimes, ‘Barbie’ does manage to find her ‘Ken’,
but she will always manage mess that relationship up, in
some kind of way, because he’s just too perfect.
Barbie’s are also fixers, they think that they can
change or fix the guy, if he’s already perfect, Barbie’s
question their choice as if it’s can’t be true.
Remember this, the only perfect man is a gay man.
Hey, that’s from Barbie, not me.
The ‘used and abused’ girl is a tale of woe. This
type of girl has such a low opinion of herself,
that she will take anything and call it love. A
fist in the face, screams ‘I LOVE YOU BABY!’ .
Words of contempt thrown at this type of girl
must mean he’s paying her some attention. This type
of girl will even chase after a guy after he hits her,
with blood streaming from her nose she will beg
for him to stay, please give her another chance to
cook his dinner better, to iron his clothes better,
to be quieter, to not make him mad anymore, if
only he’ll stay.
This type of girl usually ends up with the relationship
that lasts ’till death do us part.’ Some parts of us, the
humankind part, wants to be concerned, we want to pull for
the underdog, we want to cry for the dead, but then
when we hear that these type of women always go
back to be ‘used and abused’ once again, we end up
shaking our heads in disgust instead.
The ‘repeater’ is a type of girl that tells herself,
she wouldn’t date a guy that treats her friend the
way her friend’s boyfriend does. She doesn’t want
to marry a guy that did what her dad did to her mom,
she would never be the other woman like the girl on
Dr. Phil. The ‘repeater’ has all of these examples of
what she doesn’t want, but the guys she end up with
are exactly the guys we have heard her say over and
over again, she would never be with.
The ‘repeater’ wants to believe she is different then
the Barbie’s, but she repeats Barbie’s mistakes, she
laughs at the ‘Juliets’ and yet she repeats Juliet’s giggle
and blushes when a poetic, soft and romantic guy
approaches. In other words, she repeats ‘Juliet’s’
responses to fluff. The ‘repeater’ is so good at
repeating other’s mistakes, she more than likely
will do the ultimate in repeats, she will marry a guy
that has every fault that she hated in her dad.
The ‘repeater’ carries with them an illusion of
themselves that causes them to think that the
outcome will be different because she isn’t
those othe types. Some of her thoughts may go
this way: ‘I know he cheated on his last girlfriend
a lot but he had to, she wouldn’t give him sex ‘ ,
‘ when he read poetry to me it made me feel like
a princess, especially when he looked deep into
my eyes’ , ‘ I’ve seen him do drugs but he’s never
done them around me, he respects me too much’.
A ‘repeater’ never listens to her inner voice, she
hears it, she can repeat what it says, but she never
follows it, which is why a ‘repeater’ is doomed to
fail. And, it’s why she will always end up at some
point and time, mimicking those other types.
The ‘lady’ is easy, she’s the type that knows herself.
I know what you were thinking, you were thinking
lady as in elegance and style. This isn’t a dictionary,
it’s not what defines a lady, it’s what defines a type.
The ‘lady’ type of girl is truly a woman in her own
clothes. She is not stamped by outside forces, she
is truly a mold unto herself. A ‘lady’ doesn’t need a
man to go to a fancy dinner, she is just as comfortable
eating alone and being unaccompanied as she is when
there is a man. She doesn’t see the passing of time as
a scary thing, she embraces it and all life has in store
for her, with ever rising glee. Tell a ‘lady’ she has six
months to live and she’ll plan a going away party,
while inspiring others to do all they can to find a cure
for those that are destined to have the same disease.
The ‘lady’ type doesn’t settle. Have you heard the
saying, ‘I can do bad all by myself’ ? This is the creed a
‘lady’ lives by. She doesn’t ask, ‘why me’, she asks, ‘why
not me’ . Don’t get the idea that the ‘lady’ never cries or
feel pain in her heart, she does, she just doesn’t become
enslaved to things like sadness, heartbreak, money, sex,
nor even love.
I use the term lady because, truthfully, she can not be
tied to a type, she’s not a race of woman, she’s not a
class of woman, she’s not a woman attached to a
number or age, she is just a lady.
I knew this lady once upon a time, she was born in
a time that black people had no voice, but especially
black women, they had no voice and no face. Black
women were only required to say, ‘yes sir and yes ma’am’ .
This lady was a tough nut, she learned toughness from
having to fight off all the men in her family. Back in the
day, incest was a big issue, men of the family would rape
their sisters and their girl cousins. Instead of beating
down this lady, it made her a fighter, she figured out ways
to fight men bigger than she was, even if it meant a fight
to the death. Men learned not to bother with her, to be
honest, they were scared for their lives, to them, better to
have sex with a pig then to fight this girl. She wasn’t allowed
to go to school, so she would sit outside the little
schoolhouses and look through the windows in order to
learn to read, she wanted to be able to read her Bible.
When she got married, she had about 10 or 12 kids,
some were lost at birth so I’m not too sure of the exact
number, but it was a lot of mouths to feed. Her husband
was a player and a gambler, so the money rarely made
it home. This lady knew her children was not going to
go hungry just because a man didn’t want to live up
to his fatherly responsibilities, so she would hunt him
down every pay day. This man, the husband of this lady,
was a huge man, he was verbally abusive to her and
often acted like a big bully. But, when it came to her
kids, she was like a big grizzly mama bear, she would
jack this big hunk of a man up off of his feet and shake
the money out of him. Then she would tell him where
he could go and he could get there broke.
This lady withstood prejudice and everyday threats
of her sons being hanged for no other reason but that
they spoke to a little white girl. She stood up to an entire
town with a shotgun to prevent a hanging of her children.
She went on to tell her husband that if he could find a place
to be all night he needed to stay there, then took his clothes
to the woman he was sleeping with, house, and told her
there was the dirty drawers that went with the dirty man.
She ended up raising her kids on her own but she still
went after that money every payday.
This lady could have been ‘used and abused’, she found
a way not to be that type, she could have been ‘a repeater’ ,
she only needed 2 lessons to learn, that it’s better to be
alone then to continue repeating ones mistakes. She could
have easily fit any number of those types at some point
in her long life, but she rose above it.
When she was given six months to live, she stretched
it to about 10 years and she was such a great lady,
many came for her funereal, some had been a part of
that white mob that wanted to hang her children, they
had come to pay their respects and love for such an
I consider her the greatest lady I’ve ever known, my
grandma, may she rest in peace.
Now for my favorite part, I get to drag men into the dirt. woohoo next!!